Talk together about times such as when you met, your courtship, your wedding day, the birth of your first child, or the birth of your first grandchild. 2023 The Gottman Institute. You love and admire your partner for who he/she is as a person. If current relational situation seems negative . If your fondness and admiration for each other are being chipped away, the route to bringing . What happens when Mike absentmindedly puts his feet up on the couch three nights in a row? Looking back, what moments stand out as the happiest times in your marriage? Answer the following true-false questions: I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. He has a private practice in Seattle, WA and offers online coaching to couples across the country. Being fond of your partner includes the following: When love expires without fondness, we could get a vicious spiral into the four horsemen of the apocalypse and a separation. Take the guesswork out of connecting with your partner. Some sources even list having a crush as a form of limerence. 0000003964 00000 n All of these things allow us to suspend judgement and ignore and forgive things that deserve more examination. sofX(t*(4?XI+SVx;a,p:{ajAbQl1PkisS\E3aUv{,JHl,?QnI8]C8*Z- bl1PZl[NU)%~Y(vLw]?Mqf )SNqU)).Xb-$9iZ9v@6 1W!^2nDXbyALY&twAsdN2C When couples focus on one another's strengths instead of their weaknesses, it is easier to have compassion and understanding when disagreements do arise or when mistakes are made. 373 Krokoff-Gottman Enjoyable Conversations Scale p 374 Sound Marital House Questionnaires Love Maps p 379 Fondness and Admiration System p 30. 0. Showing appreciation is primarily about saying thank you. There is no reason not to include thank you as part of your everyday vocabulary. What do you remember about your wedding? T F, 18. Read each statement and circle "T" for True and "F" for False. How was your first year of marriage? It is to be found in application of the Golden RuleWe can look for and recognize the divine nature in one another, which comes to us as children of our Father in Heaven. Fondness and admiration protect against feeling contempt for your spouse, a dangerous emotion that too many partners develop toward one another as the years go by. Take this, Get the latest on relationships, parenting, therapy and more from the experts at The Gottman Institute, Start building a happier relationship today. Lets look at them separately beginning with fondness. In addition to proactive fondness, couples must learn to show appreciation. This why you will better get to know your partner and you will create shared meaning. Share fondness and admiration: On this floor, couples learn to overtly express appreciation and respect for each other to strengthen their bond. 5 0 obj Write it down. Its not enough to say Im fond of you. Its important to share why. Together they have two daughters, a minivan, and most of the silverware they received at their wedding. Limerence is the period of hope, not only for what the relationship is, but for what the relationship could one day be. At this juncture of the program, therapists help both partners focus on the affection and respect . Answer the following true false questions: Remembering your partner's positive qualities strengthens the bond between you, even as you struggle with each other's flaws. 0000001468 00000 n But developing a positive habit doesnt sugarcoat a relationship. endobj When the newness wears off, however, youll be glad that respect, trust, and love remain as a resultofyour sharing. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. 3 0 obj Emotion Coaching: The Heart of Parenting Online, Lessons in Love Gottman Seven Principles for Singles (April 2023), Do you agree with statements like: I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner and When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner? T F 3. or belittle him ("Can't you follow a simple request? Love Map Questionnaire (1) By giving honest answer to the following questions, you will get a sense of the quality of your current love maps. `mox}8|sx)nyrKeX."|wP5CO O6bbs;X pz`7awgaC^0xjgOCD1L0cp"} y}"t["-R9w_Q7>+Us*Bia Y9ed%]x!LC!xQd.RK.S'Z>._7G[{o~ ofF127??Oxftj?tAr*BE lGDdGrqnHNeI0-Gc~BOrfo 7 GxdiOxw9q6+,0S=Ox*B 3oyg qy4yK@^. Because of this respect, elements like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (the four horsemen) will be kept at bay. The trouble is, when limerence expires, the real work of love begins. Its also pretty consistent with the time it takes many couples to meet, date, and decide to marry. To assess the current state of your fondness and admiration system, answer the following. The first step towards improving this in your relationship is to know how much fondness and admiration are present. I know of no more certain way to keep it on a lofty and inspiring plane than for a man occasionally to reflect upon the fact that the help-meet who stands at his side is a daughter of God, engaged with Him in the great creative process of bringing to pass His eternal purposes. niuX_C64dPZZ)!?K& C5pw2a::l}'8O'}~x #4`ugZ+J <> xref 0000049570 00000 n Make developing and expressing . The Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. T F, 16. Many poor relationships indeed never end. "I was with my family": Joseph Smith as husband, father, son, and brother. Try it now by choosing one of the adjectives above, or think of your own. Explore those reasons together. T or F Ob6zr.ruvh>#>;|zmO?&kE3O-PKP2dbj; f3n Course Hero is not sponsored or endorsed by any college or university. John Gottman shares some research in this area: Sometimes couples resist searching for and expressing gratitude for their spouses positive behaviour because, they tell me, doing so feels phony to them. This isnt to say that it doesnt exist. })fP#8f)tf75O8:DnIX==p;r^LO!2`nFXnffri%^nebT_&6,M,SNu%fU From the list below, circle three items that you think are characteristic of your partner. endobj It will be easier to see the good things in your marriage. 0000049324 00000 n Limerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in his book Love and Limerence. Control, Fear, Suicide Potential and Acts of Physical Aggression Questionnaire 8. Of course its a strength. I will often find some way to tell my partner "I love you." T or F 4. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. =0OeXL~| 6lh0@>71^QB6O".h!oU##!k-Yc%>}0= ?30N 4LO}h;f979~pl3n %?)c~M;$k~msr0)IT~d^EdC667 4m$w|`@~|p_'dK^:q~#>v9pl}Xf@.3t2AG3 V06>M76-b[x?yy|QO;;|'7IPr President Deiter F. Uchtdorf's fondness for his wife is evident as he recalls his first impression of her: One Sunday the missionaries brought a new family to our meetings whom I hadn't seen before. To assess the current state of your fondness and admiration system, answer the following. c}oj_AtPY[TM3kP2HsksRUWxjO9FEn`/8HLi#jOT7"e;>PhW78sX701Xcc@=8QSOwYjfV4 She credits the book with saving her relationship with Stedman. No one's perfect, including you and the person you're married to. % It can! Appreciation is an expression of one of my personal favorite values: gratitude. 3 0 obj 0000036004 00000 n 2. The author holds a master's degree from La Sapienza, department of communication and sociological research, and is a member of the American Psychology Association (APA). If your fondness and admiration are being chipped away, the route to bringing them back always begins with realizing how valu- The 'fondness' and 'admiration' aspects of couple relatedness are the antidote to contempt - it is a buffer to stressors due to a fundamentally positive view of each other. And articulate why they are important to you. RfPsQd]GsGePBe1 9R]g"eHR=etBqN2X0b:n 9mtrKr.:vflmC]lc>+x(}JxX*lz\0&q,wKwEQ%["( )%t/C8[ ,m"6yS$)yGcbSm]. Was it an easy or hard decision? What moments stand out as difficult times in your marriage? 0000000896 00000 n Share Fondness and Admiration The second level of the house is Fondness and Admiration, which is the antidote for con-tempt. ~2mqX^foaO9emKc? When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. 1. *srPNeUfVt+h3nJX=cZi~/]&~V> aLDOZocp%zgpVi DO."e ?}JTS DOQNXJZK \j'\'[\V:E"[Sd6LsZ/V \g'K JDkiDU)+V[\XY(a]dV \g'"H HJDiU)+SVDO/,"euf^>DokIR'=Q^ai DO."%ej2Muv"DOMXb:N9 When limerence expires, couples see the relationship in a more realistic light. 2023 The Gottman Institute. 2. Ellie Lisitsa is a former staff writer at The Gottman Institute and editor for The Gottman Relationship Blog. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. 35 0 obj<>stream For the most accurate reading of how your marriage is doing on the first principle, both of you should complete the following. Giphy. T or F 3. ( gRBA,:q{]J`8fTrK&JNuU=J8rk%^ej)h7)qNC2fXm^rI*`We. The next time you get a chance, share it. Since then, it has rapidly been accepted in the scientific community as a valid concept. The idea of this exercise is not to do it once and end it. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. A research-based approach to relationships. 4 0 obj How did you meet? 2 0 obj Often the warning signs they ignored early on remain as subtle but persistent seeds of contempt, a powerful relationship killer. T F. Scoring: Give yourself one point for each true answer. And the answer to how to stay in love is fondness and admiration. Share Fondness and Admiration Make deposits into the Emotional Bank Account Turn Towards Instead of Away Accept bids for emotional connection The Positive Perspective A positive perspective occurs when the friendship of your marriage is strong Manage Conflict Accept influence from your partner: be open to compromise Shaping commitment Do you: If you can say yes to more than 10 questions, your relationship is very healthy. Fondness and admiration are also antidotes to contempt. I know of no more effective way for a woman to keep ever radiant the love for her husband than for her to look for and emphasize the godly qualities that are a part of every son of our Father and that can be evoked when there is respect and admiration and encouragement. How did you know your spouse was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Ask questions, Clarify what the other person is feeling and thinking, and Empathize. Ek{]\OdzQLjPU)+SV\O/,*%e*B8:m{@Uw W~VsBFie6pcMKSH|k:m{R$=T5f5JKtdK Perhaps the most dangerous word, however, is phase. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. T F, 2. 10 or above: This is an area of strength for your marriage. The Art and Science of Love Learn valuable, research-based skills to strengthen your relationship at The Art and Science of Love workshop for couples on Valentine's Day weekend in Seattle. Gottman has found that people who are happily married like each other.1 This probably sounds like an obvious, overly simplistic concept. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. Dr. Gottman discovered in his research that, for couples in crisis, the best test to measure the strength in their fondness and admiration system is to focus on how they view their past. And tell them about it. Limerence, as a phase, lasts approximately 2 years. Watch this video of Dr. John Gottman explaining the 5:1 ratio. I often touch or kiss my partner . Fondness and admiration are the second layer of the Gottmans solid foundation for a relationship to work (the first being love maps). 0000001352 00000 n Dorothy Tennov says limerence can last from a few weeks to several decades, but the average is 18 months to three years. The second level of this exercise is to go deeper. Although liking your partner sounds easy, couples often find themselves stuck in feelings of . RpNIusX;J\p,\(0[@VhdxjQB2u-B [Z8(AHNGB9[Vxd;Lk2J-R The cure for most marital troubles does not lie in divorce. Dr. John Gottman designed questions to assess the current level of fondness and admiration that exists in your relationship. Theres another piece of this exercise that I really love. We can live together in the God-given pattern of marriage in accomplishing that of which we are capable if we will exercise discipline of self and refrain from trying to discipline our companion.4. 0000073113 00000 n First, make it a routine. The idea is to pick 3 a positive adjectives among a list that describe your partner. 0000005254 00000 n PS7@MsTU( ~N'pWse$S?j7WOmNrKh&JU6dp3xdM2)xZ@ZjO;kJO^2@nAEXJNk)e,p:?+gTSM&NkO)^_-2tnG9=kNOA\'5 :,ES1PU)a When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. Feelings of contempt can quickly break down the bonds of friendship between husband and wife. As we make a habit of focusing on the positive aspects of our spouses, it becomes easier to think of our spouses in a positive, loving light. .\%)(2;7o{b!o3?YA7M|qjwfhR>v3C3t;E> Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. N[ 5T_=JT}nJKN OYk0 0XloLRY They are signs of sweet civility. One day you can go from being absolutely in love to the next day being so frustrated with that same person that it's hard to think about anything else. startxref It is critical that new couples protect themselves from this future now. If you can't respect the way a person lives their life, let alone . 26 Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire (1) Answer the following true false questions. The Positive Perspective: More on the 5:1 Ratio. Lets say you picked relaxed and your partner picked strong. Theres a reason those attributes are meaningful to you. T F 2. Today we focus on John Gottmans Principle 2 in The. 3464 Within marriage, a couple's love for each other is strengthened when they have a strong foundation of fondness and admiration for each other. If you score poorly, not everything is lost. xb``f``>( fondness and admiration questionnaire The following questions have been designed by Dr. Gottman to assess the current level of fondness and admiration that exists in your relationship. x\YKC!? What were your favorite things to do or places to go together? stream The seven principles for making marriage work. A>/Zf/RUR?\n@r{dNB)UDS?o9o/MnQ[_~@?W0Qy/BG+ikVR- 7rQ^DFu!8zv1N,D`JN]xC 1Ht pQ:v~Z8@ZU$ @-DJH8X+tRB50l,?=AHLpTNcBN,Wrv9u `;np!t'`A1+2@7iK@7! 0000005933 00000 n Sometimes fondness and admiration must be re-discovered beneath layers negativity. Limerence is a lot of fun. The Three "Detour" Scales 6. If life chipped away at your fondness and admiration for each other, the route to bringing them back begins with realizing how valuable they are. 0000020410 00000 n Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. !KKM=*aF_w5xh\WRb P}_NT5+}~vX5U*w=_nIM5sYA0ksb'tL'T[Ns(~h& i. If you notice you're getting defensive when you disagree, it is likely time . 0000000016 00000 n Despite these flaws, it's likely that deep down you believe your spouse is a good person who is worthy of honor and respect. During the day, especially when you and your spouse are apart, repeat the thought silently to yourself. vRA,>4kc6z%V:-;\0>y4FX,S'oPo3g'.MGs8,ea=_B##Yp$fn!Lx/MiH" vl@h@ V Commit to sharing at least three of these appreciation statements each week. Heres an example of appreciation I liked: Coupled with her expression of sincere gratefulness, it makes it a great moment of appreciation and admiration. They claim it as one of the strengths of their relationship. The Shared Meaning Questionnaire. The early stages of a romantic relationship is called limerence. Because they have developed strong feelings of fondness and admiration, mistakes and disagreements are not enough to bring contempt between them. I often touch or kiss my partner . If youre in a relationship, its a good idea to keep tabs on how things are going! whom the fondness and admiration system has not died but is buried under layers of negativity, hurt feelings, and betrayal. Answer the following questions together, inspired by one of Gottman's questionnaires. The following questionnaire is a self-assessment you can take to determine the current state of fondness and admiration in your relationship. Fondness and admiration are the perfect antidote to the limerence expiration date and they are the perfect way to keep us focused on the positives. .#jM04LEC@p,\*IJls! I P t%K &i|A{ zh8'?4@2 rq%*YZaS&?/o!G/a?sz, This is known as the care and feeding of the relationship. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. T F, 14. 0000007249 00000 n August 14, 2016. %%EOF Explore with your partner why you picked the virtues that you picked. 1.0 A problem if below 3. The following questionnaire was developed by Dr. John Gottman, recent Oprah guest and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. 1 0 obj T F 2. Why is it important? Designed the Fondness Admiration Questionnaire which assesses the current level of. According to Zach Brittle, "Sharing fondness and admiration in intentional, consistent, faithful ways is the antidote to contempt and, more importantly, it increases the amount of affection and . Oh what a commingling of thought filled my mind for the moment, again she is here, even in the seventh trouble undaunted, firm, and unwavering|unchangeable, affectionate Emma!7. T F, 11. If you can say yes to more than 10 questions, your relationship is very healthy. In this chapter, there is a "fondness and admiration questionnaire" to determine the current state of that in your relationship, and some exercises to help fan the flames of respect. Read each statement and circle T for true or F for false., 1. endobj Shared Meanings Questionnaire (Rituals, Goals, Roles, Symbols) Trust* Commitment* 4. Nurturing your fondness and admiration is the antidote to contempt, according to Gottman. Gottman Emotional Abuse Questionnaire (EAQ) 7. How can you know youre in a happy relationship thats both good for your health and everyone around you? (If it would help, invite a close friend or family member to act as interviewer and ask you the questions.). ^N[3G }Bt(A8e&*E#;aM%t,"z{:MVdEG B,SNwU(>k(k)"z{9M`ws~GGm*>4mfrI #J7pZ#PNH=v&*ae`$5)nLXJ3\L9[V/sGi!o>C%)] g4 DM:5|B."2#8l_(FnPX=vrLd8GX fZrK&JN8KYSNu}!o.rts--dRN2@nM1P-0$J0n9=vf'>B%qS\5HJN mRFbi")b-{#t7?r eD|z#&*E#;*I(Pet7Cn8\\H(tn%Qb"&)sQ=:-MQ 2-9iaUGe]K1c/TCE[]*TG%T?. How did you decide to get married? Fondness and admiration are the perfect antidote to the limerence expiration date and they are the perfect way to keep us focused on the positives. The following questionnaire was developed by Dr. John Gottman, recent Oprah guest and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Nurturing your fondness and admiration toward your spouse helps you to maintain a sense of respect for them. She might insult his personality ("You are such a slob!") Hj0aVuAGRhWau4;%9l9.%7 But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a . 6 Ways To Increase Fondness and Admiration In Your Relationship Keeping a relationship happy is an everyday job, if you work at it, you will get it right. And to stay together in a happy, healthy relationship we need something else. Sometimes fondness and admiration must be re-discovered beneath . Lesson #2: Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration. T or F 3. The relationship is no longer sustained by romantic attraction. Romance is definitely still a part of our relationship. Managing conflict 6. Yx\QD' !cq0 Dr. John Gottman believes that fondness and . Turns out, what breaks many relationships is the failed transition between the butterfly love face, or limerence, and the real relationship right after. But it's overlooked more often than people think. Sharing fondness and admiration is the antidote to contempt. Fondness & Admiration Exercise Before doing this exercise it's advisable to first assess your "Love Map" as discussed in the link in the Resource section of the website. T F 6. I noticed it last week when _____. Again, make this a discipline. . Learn Tantra, the art of conscious loving, Transcend the routines of your daily life. My partner really respects me. Inna Melikhova. It shouldnt be a surprise that this is roughly how long the newlywed period lasts. Our sex life is generally satisfying. % T or F 2. <>/Metadata 198 0 R/ViewerPreferences 199 0 R>> I can easily tell you why I married my partner. stream Ek9N}f2+T{)*irhKRZZg4)#VnXWv1u*TS hOUY:k;eBZ{}Wpt,Ew&=rZgSU)+,SNlO+*$r%w=k;T@SriVi)'VnYwUsY{!=k(@yV0QZ_g T~gVYU(b]En]]^IjTB+SAcVU^IJt\-r|+qj9N|[5$YOY:OG=tP,=]xd{%x&CuVgTZVK-Iyl{zaV)K-=]/$e9{!=k(.$z0Qu\"YCp%3uvIT;f5*KR\#[^XUe. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Beyond Hormones: The Elements of Love, Sex & Spirituality. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. T F, 8. Sharing fondness and admiration 3. ,cIkVhENxS,ux|mf^XK p\V-*M~-3*=WM}B^8#V*Lg*B-ye6AWz]]EW Start building a happier relationship today! V~+^y &>6&%~O#Cz-dv2"VHH8Vz_7Zaqz6 H*YV)ZOf]&G,Snqv=t)!h5`u^q2~ oyG0>l(eV]ALv Blog 1 - The Perception of You Table.docx, the renewable heating and cooling sector lacks progress To achieve the, Criminal Justice Problems and Criminal Justice Problems and Unaddressed, the path is 9020 2 19M enabled 0 disabled 1 3 20M 17M n17 4 21M 18M n18 5 22M 6, When the organizations mission and strategy are understood objectives can, ce p ts for t h e giv e n fun ct ion 20 fx x 1 x 2 3 x 4 20 6 Find t h e dom a, NURS-FPX4040_BrustGary_Assessment1-1 copy.docx, China should specialize in the production Wheat 20 y 0 6 14 x 8 Cloth Figure 71, Segment capital expenditure is the total cost incurred during the year to, SecondOwner 186 1197 Laguna Niguel Petrol Individual Manual FirstOwner 1409 1596, b In case of hospitalization the student and parentsguardians shall inform the, JOY IN THE WORKPLACE FORCE FIELD ANALYSIS D024 (1).docx, Determine the following components i The mass flow rate at the outlet ii The, Fireheart sighed He glanced at Tigerclaw wondering if the deputy had seen them, Question 10 For the next six questions use the data file FreshmenDinnerxlsx. We rarely go to sleep without some show of love or affection. Dr. John Gottman offers practical ways to turn toward each other and create shared meaning in your relationship. )B>hic1!S,Tw pu-!L~P;`J6(9S6<=D\/"FXt],RfNuQ C@b`r~ 3[:Sf)+7g2@xD]9q!t2Yh&0!YRtYXbSM^g@FH?EHERRV8.XfCB37vJaEtO9VL }>GavtSlTP.e!8W,E %1U29V[#Lt7Ibpy(>{H2-A;K5oF-1R4r)k r[lQhv In the exercise, you choose three adjectives from the list that describe your partner. Put it in a place where you'll see it and think of it during the day, such as in your pocket, on your car dashboard, or on your desk. Those words can be an invitation to deepen the relationship with our partner. Share fondness and admiration. All Rights Reserved. endobj I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. Fondness is affection, often naive, for another. Happily married couples aren't smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. Happy partners maintain respect for each other even during disagreements and remind themselves of the positive qualities about their partner. endobj 78%*hqrWL426'msy n:|D8j)REi 3> a<2SMof U\fqh\*eT~<9@dW C HS nP1fY)C0L&)tkJNqpO7S*S\Y&twviw\zGfg3)t( +$wSD8cakv_&Wo>d,*E;9UD.62QNmf U|NVe::&_ Turn towards, not away: This floor involves learning to notice when one's partner is seeking . 1 This probably sounds like an obvious, overly simplistic concept. 1. In our day to day lives, we should seek to notice our spouses' strengths rather than their weaknesses. What do you remember about the time you were dating? A Gottman Method therapist can teach you how to grow your appreciation for one another and consequently strengthen the quality of your relationship. Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. For relationships to survive and stand the test of time, there are different things that should be considered important by the two partners. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life. There is a fire and passion in this relationship. The "Emotional Bank Account" exercise. . Answer the following true false questions: 1. 0 This is a perfect, sad example of a relationship fully devoid of fondness an admiration: Read the statements below and think whether or not they apply to you. Don't default to just the "I love you" or "You . I will often find some way to tell my partner "I love you." T F 4. Turning toward (as opposed to turning away from each other 4. It involves asking open-ended questions and maintaining awareness of your partner's world. He then has readers complete a Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire to get a sense of their own "fondness and admiration system". Whether it's a grand gesture of taking care of the kids and doing chores around the house, or small tokens like preparing your lunch for you and even listening to you vent about a bad day in the office, your partner offers daily bits and pieces of . 0000073360 00000 n On this subject, President Hinckley has said: Companionship in marriage is prone to become commonplace and even dull. The following questionnaire was developed by Dr. John Gottman, recent Oprah guest and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. And find some time over the next week to say these sentences out loud to your partner. Don Mariano Marcos Memorial State University. There are eight dimensions in the oral history interview that are coded using the Buehlman (1991) coding system: Love maps (cognitive room), fondness and admiration system, disappointment and negativity, we-ness, glorifying the struggle, chaos, stereotypic roles (tradionality), and conflict avoiding versus couples.These dimensions can predict the future course of the relationship as well as . I feel loved and cared for in this relationship. When couples can identify and articulate their core values together, they can get a jump start on creating shared meaning, which is at the top of the Sound Relationship House. This quiz is designed to help you test yourself on the level of fondness and admiration in your relationship, whether it exists in your relationship . But also have their differences. Just knowing this can make all the difference for couples who are feeling pessimistic about their partner and marriage. 17 0 obj Thats the power of limerence. As simple as it may sound, happily married couples like each other. %PDF-1.5 I thought that these missionaries were doing a very, very good job. Building fondness and admiration doesn't happen overnight, but if you work at it, it will bolster your friendship, which is the foundation of every healthy marriage. Then name an actual incident from the past week where your partner demonstrated that quality.