we broke up and he got another girl pregnant we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

so we have a 8mth baby. Thats the responsible thing for anyone to do after having unprotected sex and before beginning a new relationship. It doesnt sound like shes ready or willing to deal with him having fathered a child, especially if he changes his mind and wants to be a part of its life. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. That can either be a blessing or a curse, depending on your views of abortion, where you are in your life, who your partner is, etc. But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. If she does your boyfriend will deal with the aftermath of having sex without a condom. Considering how often it is done on daytime television, I am shocked to find out that a paternity test is so damn hard to procure. All rights reserved. It takes two people to make a baby and two people to decide what to do after one of them gets pregnant. Wow, youre a real piece of work, arent you. For more information, please see our reader, Junebug2589+, writes (22 November 2008): A I dont think she should have any sort of legal say about the decision to keep the baby, but I dont think shes committing some horrendous crime for judging it. THERE IS NO CHILD AT CONCEPTION. Come on, though Three times? While it is true he has no obligation to someone hes broken up with, he does have an obligation to not go around making babies with women he doesnt even know. And we dont really know that she actually said shes on the pill or if she is indeed really pregnant or if the lw truly wants him to go off and marry the other woman. Whatever happened to you to make you hate women doesnt have to mean a lifetime of whiny bitterness. April 9, 2012, 9:56 pm. Painted_lady landygirl If the other woman decides to have the baby, her now boyfriend will be liable for child support, which will significantly impact his finances (and their finances if they marry for the next 18 years. Out of all the cries of sexism being thrown back and forth, that to me truly is sexist, assuming that a mother cannot raise a well-adjusted child by herself. His anger is unwarranted unless its directed at himself. And finally , yes, I do think he should have some right to what happens to that pregnancy, and yes I do think that trapping someone by getting pregnant is repulsive, and so yes, I can understand his anger at the woman if that is what is happening. So, he feels it is best to make things work with her for the sake of his baby. If a woman is raped and aborts a child, there is nothing to support. female These are very common questions going through a guy's mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. But it doesnt matter what you think of her or her decision to carry your boyfriends baby. But youre too stupid/gullible to be angry at him. He didnt. This was even more of a scandal in a small town in the 70s than it would have been today, but she decided to keep the baby. just as she has the responsibility not to lie. Story. Whether those parents planned it or not they need to be there for that kid and not just dump it becuase you feel like it. Get over yourself and get over him. This woman might very well be lying. What a joke. Fyrebyrd2 Even if this baby malarky goes away, even if this woman only demands financial support and nothing else from your boyfriend, this sort of drama will be your life if you stay with him. Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? April 9, 2012, 6:16 pm. I was thinking this letter was going to be juicy!! That is not acceptable. This is a great contrast to Wendys piece about Drew being a great husband/dad. Out of my 5 closest friends only one isnt a fan. He slept with his ex-fiancee once, and now she's pregnant. Its only when a baby is involved is when men come to their senses and then have so much things to say like I didnt mean to hurt you, I barely knew her, or the famous line I was drunk. CONSTANTLY. Dudes inner-monologue consists of the word Fuck clouded by that ringing noise you get after leaving a concert. Francine It actually makes me very sad. Regardless of all my snark, I really hope that if the two of you stay together you dont take your aggravation about the situation out on the child. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? He actually did believe he was the dad, which means he actually did cheat with this other woman. This discussion sure got crazy though! lets_be_honest This is usually created by one person chasing harder or desiring the person more. Yes? And he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. They came first. Thats precisely the incentive structure feminism (and the paternity laws that followed) have created. You sure arent one. Anyway, he ended the relationship with her and surprise, shes knocked up. Hell of course express things in a way that maximizes the chance of him not doing any more to hurt the LW than necessary. If they dont want to be taken, then they should think before they poke landygirl. She loved him back then but broke up with him over this but went back to him 20 years later thinking he grew up.2016. Temperance Honestly, I did grow up craving a strong male presence in my life and have always gravitated towards male professors or bosses who wee willing to play the role of mentor. reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A guys..youre not gonna get anywhere with this one. Now? They like to entrap men, too. Seriously this is skeeving me out. April 9, 2012, 12:32 pm, Well to start theres this ridiculous bit of misogyny and what seems like lack of understanding of child support: one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met.. I get from the tone of your letter that you are bitter. I know you two were on a break but I hope you made him get swabbed for STDs. The way I figure, he can go ahead and have unprotected sex all he wants but I still maintain its a bad idea. This is why homosexual couples have to adopt. I think it is fair for him to be disappointed, angry and frustrated. But I just watched this documentary on ecstasy users whose brains were literally rotting away (Ah!!! November 19, 2012, 3:02 pm. Blood is not everything. This man in the letter has spent those same 25 years being an ever-aging manchild. Or pining away for a father figure theyll never, ever have? You are upset that someone read browbeat into the word ask but you have no problem making up a whole conversation in your head in the same breath no less even though the LW was explicit. Meaning, a woman SHOULD ask the guy who knocked her up what he would like. Whose idea was it to take a break anyway? And yes it a double standardoh wait men dont have uteruses, silly me. April 10, 2012, 10:14 pm, if a man has sex with a woman, they should be prepared to pay dearly for it for the rest of their lives. It's painful to witness when you're still in love with a person, but one of the most common reasons why a person would jump into a new relationship right after a breakup is to mask the pain of it all. Unless Im sure the guy will make it worth my while, Im not going to do it. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. Having placement, on the other hand, does, and what Im saying is that when it comes down to where are the kids going to stay, in situations where everything else is equal, the default position is still with the mother in most courts, with the fathers visitation dependent on how close to equal the two parents are. Hes signing up for sex, not fatherhood, and it is an egregious breach of the implied sexual contract for the woman to turn around and say, Whups, knocked up! While youre at it make sure to pop out a few more kids yourself, too. Cried my eyeballs out evry nite. April 9, 2012, 9:58 am. I didnt mean to imply it wasnt true, it just unfortunately isnt enforceable. lets_be_honest If the woman chooses to take on the responsibility of raising the child alone, she ought not have the right to force the indentured servitude (financial or otherwise) of the father against his stated wishes. And he has agreed to support the child financially. Boy, for someone who cant live without you, he sure didnt wait to go out and sleep with someone else! April 10, 2012, 6:34 pm. She experiences an allergic reaction and has to be rushed to the hospital. Pardon my French but if youre going to stick your dick into a stranger, you need to take birth control into your own hands and not rely on her word alone. The dream is a signal for your quest for power. Regardless of whether or not he wants to stay with this women he impregnanted, do NOT stay with him yourself! Why are you mopping and crying over a man who clearly doesnt want to be with you? Watch your language young lady! kerrycontrary If its not easy and its not what one wants, opt out of it. On a side note: If the adoption had not occured and she went after him for support, he could contest it by stating that it would be detrimental to the child as he has no fatherly relationship with the child and introducing such a relationship so many years later would be harmful. If someone decides to risk becoming a parent by having sex, especially unprotected sex, or by letting a pregnancy continue to the point where a baby is born, they are consenting to be responsible for any child that is produced. I think that is a pretty bad guess with how this guys attitude is towards things, and how badley he wants nothing to do with the child. The guy had sex with someone who got pregnant. The good news is that yours are a little less awful. You dont honestly believe that logic that applies to one situation should be applied to all situations, do you? Termination of Parental rights does NOT absolve you from paying Child Support in the United States of America. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. But still a good thing to have. SpaceySteph Quit trying to dig into other peoples wallets to subsidize your lifestyle choices. I think the hes a scum is more about not wanting anything to do with a child that he helped create and trying to brow beat this woman into having an abortion. If he didnt want a child he should have better protected himself. She takes her pill every day at the same time. But, you allowed him to call and you were hoping he had changed. Makes me wonder if youre happily married like I am, or just a bitter divorcee who clings to feminism and man-hating as a knee jerk reaction of having been wronged. Some of the best advice my mom ever gave me way back in the day was Listen. April 10, 2012, 10:34 am. One of the draw backs of only knowing someone for a short period of time. Hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated.. And those young boys and those young boys parents have wages garnished for the next 18 years to pay for the rapists child. Girls dropped the single "So Typically Now" way back in July of last year, it was clear Meg Remy's next outing would continue the wild ride kicked off when . thats just dumb. Which keeps me pretty busy, and Im married to my daughters mother. I get what youre saying. Regardless, I again find a double standard in saying he must be scum to not want to be in the childs life but that opting to give a child up for adoption is a perfectly viable choice for a woman. Now. Ahtrue, I reread the letter, and it did say ask not order as I remembered. reader, Lisa Belize+, writes (22 September 2009): A This is not true, and I say this because a (male) friend of mine went through this a few years ago. Even though people would like to think that the pill is 100% effective it is not. Why is it that she gets to have his child and not you? I often feel bad for the LWs who get called names and judged super harshly on this site and sometimes feel the need to defend them when they just seem lost and in need of some advice. female I know exactly what child support means, and you are discussing the post-birth situation, where there actually is a child who actually needs support. At the time, he said he would wait years for me - until he could be with me. There is no such assumption in this case- its more like handing the baby off to some nice-looking person he met in the grocery store and hoping for the best. Guess what LW? But if YOU really are so fucked up and so pathetic that you want to build a life with a man who for intents are purposes wants to simply abandon his own child have at it. So, ask yourself why do you allow it? She cant afford a child on her own. It seems they are in a good place now, but I checked my mans texts and she still flirts with him and tries to get him back. If hes being deceived then hes a willing participant. And, you know, your well reasoned logic and stuff. If he didnt want to wear condomwhateverIll even give him the benefit there. Iwannatalktosampson Oh I agree that its a bad idea, but still a choice to be made individually. Does he think hes too old to be a dad? Seven months later he tells you that while you were gone, and in order for him to get over you he met someone else and now shes pregnant. So go whine about how unfair life is to someone who is as ignorant as you are about how life works.